The Word That Keeps on Giving

Tomorrow is my birthday. And from the morbid center of the mind, I can’t help but be aware that this brings me one year closer to my meeting with the prince of darkness. For this, I have prepared a few things, of which I have decided I will add to a sack each year from this day forward:

  1. Flame retardant pants
  2. Fire extinguisher
  3. Worn copy of Jerzy Kosinski’s “Cockpit” 
  4. Skittles
  5. Whoopie Cushion
  6. Bubble gum cigarettes
  7. Super Soaker
  8. Jewish-star-shaped cookie cutters
  9. Cthulhu Pirate Black Tee

Infinity seems like a long time, but at least I’ll be kept busy.

Do you need shoes in hell?


    2 thoughts on “The Word That Keeps on Giving

    1. I am constantly surprised by the contents of your mind. I'm not sure if I am crying or laughing. I get everything except the "Jewish-star-shaped cookie cutters"…you're not even crazy about cookies!

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