Tomorrow is my birthday. And from the morbid center of the mind, I can’t help but be aware that this brings me one year closer to my meeting with the prince of darkness. For this, I have prepared a few things, of which I have decided I will add to a sack each year from this day forward:
- Flame retardant pants
- Fire extinguisher
- Worn copy of Jerzy Kosinski’s “Cockpit”
- Whoopie Cushion
- Bubble gum cigarettes
- Super Soaker
- Jewish-star-shaped cookie cutters
- Cthulhu Pirate Black Tee
Infinity seems like a long time, but at least I’ll be kept busy.
Do you need shoes in hell?